my day job is really getting to me....

when it comes to working on the computer
i am like an eagle soaring above
they're scrambling around like field mice
pulling out my feathers when im not looking
in hopes that i will lose my ability to fly
but they're weak and can't get to my wings
just yanking on my tail feathers, in a feeble
attempt to make themselves feel safe.
but i'm not even looking for field mice,
i'm huntin wabbits.



ugh, glad the day is finally over. i was hella frazzled.
but i'm so glad a good memory came to mind and reminded me
i know myself. i know myself very well. that's what gives me my edge.

this story is kind of on some you had to be there type shit but
i don't think anybody reads this blog or looks at this much
except for maybe my 8 followers.....heeeey 8 follwers luv u!
(wish it had a counter, somebody school me, can i get blogger stats?)
at least i can admit, i do what i do for myself more than for anyone else.
sooo anyway, this one time master toddy was making us run up this steep ass boat thing at lake mead. its like where you go lower you boat into the water or whatever, so we are running up this thing, i remember in my head thinking something along the lines of "motherfucker" the whole entire way. Everyone is acting all cool doing their best because we're being filmed, so we do this shit like 3 or 4 times then we're like damn the man! and the next time he said GO we all laid down. hahahahah master toddy got all mad and fustrated, like act right you clowns!
haha then one girl had the bubble guts going on, so one time we ran up and she just didn't stop and kept sprinting to the bathroom, we were all rolling and the crew is just all confused like WTF except the sound guy he could hear us talking when we were all down at the bottom telling her to just freakin go the the bathroom. but that shit still looked funny as fuck like out of a movie or something. hahhahahha
thinking about that scene from my life made me really laugh & i was kind of able let all that bs from work earlier go. those suckas need to remember, we're all just human!
now i remember more about myself from that day, i was pushing myself hard and i was fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked up. it was on reality tv but they didn't really show how real it was for me because in real reality 2 days before we filmed that running up the shit scene i had my first fight, i got my guts kneed in. i was in so much pain. me and lisa were team slow that day. we go slow but we dont stop, that was our slogan. she got her invite to go fight in thailand.
i forgot all about how fucked up i was.
i just always repped for team slow from that day on. putting conscious effort into always making progress no matter how slow it goes, just keep calm and keep moving forward.
through all my muay thai training there is one thing i know about myself
with out a doubt, i always give my best. i don't know any other way. but im also just a human, far from perfect, so sometimes i need a break, i can't always beat myself to death with work in order to feel productive. we've been busting ass since july at my job man. and please, most of the time im doing at least 2 but usually 3 or 4 different things at once so not everything can be 100%. A's & B's is good enough for me. i do alot so it all cant be perfect. oh well.
i still have to try my best to remember everyday from moment to moment,
balance is the most important thing to maintain in life
to be able to sustain happiness.

now a little bone thugs to jam out to. lol
hahaha i cant help it these guys were so huge when they came out
i was in jr. high. those are good memories for me so i like 'em
plus im just really feelin this song right now, feeeeeeeeeelin it
"i been strugglin, hustlin, and thugin it forever"

come into my world & u will see that we are more than thugs
with a just a little twist of harmony bud smokin lethal warriors
these are the days of our lives