Saturday, December 13, 2014

What are you struggling against right now?

What are you struggling against right now?

Breathe, and let go... whatever it is, don't try to change it or fix it. Just observe... observe what is happening externally (the situation) and internally (your thoughts and emotions).

Choose to move into acceptance of this moment, without needing a reason why.

When you choose to accept this moment exactly as it is, rather than struggling against it, you will find the peace and grace of a greater intelligence flowing through you to heal the situation.

If you stay in your mental struggle, you create resistance in your body, which takes its toll on your well-being.

By breathing deeply and softening your resistance, you tap into creative inner resources that you cannot access whilst you are battling with yourself.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

the things that define you

You have to do the hard things.

1. You have to make the call you’re afraid to make.
2. You have to get up earlier than you want to get up.
3. You have to give more than you get in return right away.
4. You have to care more about others than they care about you.
5. You have to fight when you are already injured, bloody, and sore.
6. You have to feel unsure and insecure when playing it safe seems smarter.
7. You have to lead when no one else is following you yet.
8. You have to invest in yourself even though no one else is.
9. You have to look like a fool while you’re looking for answers you don’t have.
10. You have to grind out the details when it’s easier to shrug them off.
11. You have to deliver results when making excuses is an option.
12. You have to search for your own explanations even when you’re told to accept the “facts.”
13. You have to make mistakes and look like an idiot.
14. You have to try and fail and try again.
15. You have to run faster even though you’re out of breath.
16. You have to be kind to people who have been cruel to you.
17. You have to meet deadlines that are unreasonable and deliver results that are unparalleled.
18. You have to be accountable for your actions even when things go wrong.
19. You have to keep moving towards where you want to be no matter what’s in front of you.

You have to do the hard things. The things that no one else is doing. The things that scare you. The things that make you wonder how much longer you can hold on.

Those are the things that define you. Those are the things that make the difference between living a life of mediocrity or outrageous success.

The hard things are the easiest things to avoid. To excuse away. To pretend like they don’t apply to you.

The simple truth about how ordinary people accomplish outrageous feats of success is that they do the hard things that smarter, wealthier, more qualified people don’t have the courage — or desperation — to do.

Do the hard things. You might be surprised at how amazing you really are.


Monday, December 1, 2014

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

the urge to feel superior to others might be the most powerful addiction of all

We can't unify against efforts to chemically manipulate our brains, bc the urge to feel superior to others might be the most powerful addiction of all.

Think about it: what does a civilization want from people like you and me? It wants citizen who work all day, sleep all night, and spend their free time sitting motionless on the sofa and/or engaging in commerce. Not out committing crimes, or rioting in the streets, or getting people riled up demanding "change." It wants stability, in other words.

This, for instance, is why hardly anyone dares speak a word against caffeine -- the room you're in is filled with goods manufactured by people downing Red Bull and coffee to get through a double shift. That's not the case for tobacco -- cigarettes don't make you a better worker or soldier, and in fact they hurt your productivity by taking you out of the workforce early. Meth makes you a great worker ... for like 20 hours, but then you pass out on the floor for the next 20.

That's how it works -- if a certain percentage of users of a product become sick or unemployable, the government will step in. The system is against the addictions that destabilize the system, but conversely is absolutely in favor of the ones that support it. And that's where shit gets real, because ...

Ultimately, This Is What the System Wants

I mentioned in that previous article about video game addiction that one thing that drives addiction is avoidance of something else -- you leap at the chance to play an "addictive" video game because you want it to suck your mind away from work or your personal life. You want to turn off your brain and sit motionless on the sofa. And that works out just fine for society -- here's what's happened to the crime rate in the years since video games and the Internet went mainstream; it went down, dramatically.

There are a bunch of reasons for that decline, but a big one is that young people simply have hobbies that don't bring them in physical contact -- get mad at somebody over Facebook, and nobody gets stabbed. This is why online harassment is so rampant and also why nobody gives a shit: sending email rape threats is what they want the sociopaths to be doing -- because in reality they're still just staring at a glowing screen, motionless. Did I mention that when you introduce Internet porn to a population, real-life sexual assault goes down? That's where you want the deviants, too -- motionless, perched in front of a glowing screen, molesting a wad of Kleenex.

So now you're kind of rooting for it, right? But remember, the system wants to pacify you, too. The system needs impoverished customer service workers, and it needs those impoverished customer service workers to be OK with that situation. And the way you pacify a person is by reducing their life goals to a list that's one item long: feeding their addiction. An addict can become OK with anything -- their status in life, their dead-end job, the system overall -- as long as they're getting their fix.

After all, there's a reason society is coming around on weed legalization -- it may not have the chemical addiction of meth, but it sure as hell makes you OK with sitting motionless on your sofa. That's why I find it hilarious that weed is such a symbol of hippies and the counterculture. If you're working all day to make money to buy weed, then spending your free time stoned on the sofa, you're the perfect drone. Now tell me you don't know at least one person who's fine with living paycheck to paycheck, as long as they can dominate at League of Legends every night.

That feels like a tragedy to me. Remember, those pleasure centers in the brain we're letting someone else hijack were put there for a reason. We evolved to feel a high from a successful hunt, or winning a battle, or securing food, or making a friend, or finding a lover. Improving your life, in other words. Once they can decode how to induce those feelings of bliss with various combinations of chemicals or stimulus, the game is over. The chemicals will always be more attainable than the actual pleasures they're replacing.

So we wind up living with this weird double standard in which we decide our addictions are either harmless or the result of an uncontrollable urge, while other people's addictions are a moral failing on their part. Go to any comment section for a video/photo/article mentioning the overweight. You'll find hundreds of nasty comments about fat people -- how they're lazy, disgusting, have no respect for themselves, etc. -- and approximately 100 percent of those comments will be coming from people who have at least one addiction of their own. That is, in fact, one of the key mechanisms of addiction.

See, because a food addiction is a shameful, disgusting display of moral weakness, but this Red Bull, beer, and weed in my apartment -- they're just what a cool dude needs to relax and get through the week. In fact, you could follow one of those fat-hating guys to another forum and listen to him boast about how much weed he smokes, and how much beer it takes to get him drunk, and how many times he jerks off in a week. As if all of those are badass, manly accomplishments and not stark evidence of his own paper-thin impulse control.

Or, notice how they sneer at the overweight for their lack of self-control, but then demonstrate no control whatsoever over their own impulse to say horrible things about other people. That fat person can resist a cupcake for a hell of a lot longer than that commenter resisted being an asshole.

This is addiction's divide-and-conquer tactic. And it's the reason most of you will find it impossible to take this article seriously.

The fat-phobic dude above would never regard himself as being on the same team as the overeater, despite the fact that both are dealing with stress by self-medicating with a dopamine rush (yes, cruelty is addictive). When your aforementioned grandpa rants about the kids today and their drugs, he's doing it around a cigar and a bottle of vodka. The woman who downs two pots of coffee a day turns up her nose at the smoker, the smoker turns up his nose at the fat guy, right up until the day the smoker quits and promptly becomes a fat guy himself.....He just swapped one two-pack-a-day habit for another.

In a perfect world, that guy would then stop and say, "Well, that's interesting. It's almost like we're all just self-medicating in different ways, and we all need to rethink how we consume things and why." But, more likely, he'll read an article about "social media addiction" and roll his eyes. "You want to know about real addiction, honey? Try quitting smoking some time! All you need to do is turn off the damned Facebook!" We can't unify against efforts to chemically manipulate our brains, because the urge to feel superior to others might be the most powerful addiction of all.

As long as we think we can fight addiction with shame, it will be impossible for us to have an open, honest discussion about the subject (which is surprising, because trying to suppress sexuality with shame has worked so well). So, while we're busy scoffing at the idea that the things we buy are addictive, the people selling them to us will be spending millions to find ways to make them even more so.

Read more:

Saturday, November 15, 2014

rock ur mocs 2014

u won't catch me dancing much in pubic anymore....but dancing has and always be my most favorite way to celebrate being alive

inspired by this video, i just love everything about it

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Red Mountain Eagle Pow Wow 2014

got some new jewelry

and had the bomb popover for lunch (grilled prok & roasted green chile)

Thursday, October 30, 2014

food is fuel

energy vibrations

Feminine energy has a different wavelength to Masculine energy.......Feminine energy vibrates at a higher frequency than Masculine energy. Color is how our eyes perceive vibrating energy and so we naturally associate certain colors as being Feminine or Masculine. Pink is Feminine and Blue is Masculine.

This is why many clairvoyants and mediums are Female, because Feminine vibrations are naturally at a higher frequency, so they are able to connect and more easily interpret those higher frequencies that are out of range for the majority of Males.........this is why "The Powers That Be" are suppressing the feminine energy in the 3rd dimension of duality; to stop the connection to the higher frequencies where a greater conscious awareness can be found....

embrace it all

Monday, October 27, 2014

stand up

Dear Abusers: You may not know me, but I know you. I’ve been involved with you, and though you come in many different appearances, shapes, sizes and backgrounds, you are all more similar than you think. You feed upon the insecurities of others. You make cutting sarcastic remarks to belittle others, because you will never know the joy of elevating others or respecting them the way they deserve to be respected. You are condescending in tone, manner and attitude, because you want so desperately to believe you are the powerful one in every interaction. You are physically aggressive, emotionally depraved, sadistic, destructive and poisonous. Here’s news for you: you are powerless. You are powerless without supply. Powerless without a victim to believe in your lies. You derive your sense of superiority from another’s subjugation. Your power is dependent upon a victim’s psychological investment in your false image, not your true self. Each victim you come across, each victim you use as an emotional or physical punching bag, will eventually leave or be left by you when you realize you can no longer control him or her. The victim that stays will be the unlucky one, forever enslaved to your mind games. Even so, little by little, you will have to up the ante on the power ploys in order to maintain power and control. How exhausting it must be to try to play puppeteer to someone whose strings you have entirely manufactured; you will never have the pleasure of receiving love and affection from a pure source of willingness, but rather from a place of fear, a place of trauma, of enslavement, of necessity. Your audience or harem does not count, as no one besides your victims know the real you. Even if they have caught glimpses of who you are, they do not love who you really are. How difficult it must be to realize that you will never be truly loved, and that you will never truly love another person. You so desperately want to believe that within every relationship, you are a “catch,” more intelligent, more attractive, more desirable and more accomplished than the victim whose energy you drain every day like the emotional vampire you are. The truth is, you are none of these things. Every victim you target is inherently morally, spiritually, and intellectually superior to YOU. That is because victims of abuse do not have to abuse others to gain a sense of self-worth or importance. They already feel whole just as they are. They derive fulfillment not from harming others, but from helping others. They feel joy in showing compassion, respect and empathy for their fellow human beings. They give love without hate. They know that we are all interconnected, and that hurting another hurts themselves. They have genuine, authentic accomplishments and success that they don’t need to defend or boast about in order to feel good about. They have a conscience you can only imitate. You, on the other hand, live in a world of brokenness, of false pride and fragile egotism. You realize you are truly alone, on the inside, regardless of how much power and pull you think you have over others. Surrounded by adoring fans who know nothing about your true intentions or your malice, you start to recognize that they, too, only care about your prestige and your appearances. One day, your false image will shatter and the world will see you for who you truly are, and not who you pretend to be. One day, your victim will walk out the door. One day, you will look at yourself and realize that had you spent more time healing and loving, rather than fighting and hurting, you would be one with this world and not a destructive force within it.

Create a safe space for yourself in your mind, a place where your thoughts can come and go without judgement. When you consciously choose to break free from cycles of abuse and change the way you think in order to heal your emotional trauma, you develop emotional intelligence. Knowing what your emotions are communicating from your subconscious will help you cope better with negativity, stress and frustration. Once that becomes part of your nature you can actually be happy instead of just trying to be happy all the time. ♥

Friday, October 24, 2014

Saturn in Scorpio

Saturn in Scorpio

The Shadow Self.

This will be the last time for at least another 29 years that the sun will travel through the constellation Scorpio while Saturn is also in Scorpio. This is a very special cycle in terms of our evolution because an entire chapter is coming to a close. With this comes the final awareness of the lessons that are related to the Saturn in Scorpio transit.

For much of the last two years we have been dealing with intense dark truths about the nature of humanity. We have become completely aware of the nonsense that today’s authorities and institutions project into our perception about what is real and what is not - even to the point now where we look at the recent Ebola outbreak as a hoax.

Saturn in Scorpio has been showing us exactly what is happening in the transit of Pluto through Capricorn. It has been giving us a preview, and we certainly became aware of our own individual and collective karma. With this mutual reception we have been greatly aided in ripping down all the outdated definitions and cleaning our perception of our outer world. Along with this came the undoing of the authoritative power we give to the hierarchic structures. Essentially the veil of illusion that governments, institutions, corporations and corporate media has hidden behind has now been removed and the truth is there in plain sight, allowing us to flush out these deep dark distortions that existed within us.

We were also, during this time, becoming aware of our external security patterns and how we placed them in the hands of these authorities. We learnt the biggest spiritual lesson during this transit; total security can only be found from within. What has emerged during this time for humanity is that the year of 2014 has been one in which we have become awake to our own freedom. Our spiritual freedom. We have been learning that we are sovereign spiritual beings of this earth. We have begun recognizing our own authority.

It is time now to establish that personal, inner authority in the world. This is the key to actualizing our desires and becoming awake to them. With this knowledge we are able to make choices to move away from, and stop supporting, these outdated structures one step at a time. This will inevitably lead to their fall.

Now as the Sun, Moon and Venus enter Scorpio and also form a partial solar eclipse, we will become aware of the inner work that we have done. We will be putting the pieces of the puzzle together. This is not likely to be an easy process, and we can expect to be tested. But over time we will align ourselves with new truths and begin the next part of this epic journey, fresh and ready.

read more:

Thursday, October 23, 2014

don't be afraid, it's only Scorpio season ♏

when i was a kid i used to tell my dad how much i wanted something he always told me to 'get a job'
so at the age of 8 i became business partners with my 10 year old brother and we ran the paper route on our street.
i used to look at the stars all the time during those cold, dark, scary early morning newspaper deliveries.
being able to see the stars and recognizing constellations was really the only thing i really enjoyed about being out there

its often uncomfortable to be consciously be aware of your inner most thoughts, opinions and beliefs, for a Scorpio that is our natural state.
the ability to authentically and honestly express those thoughts, opinions and beliefs to yourself and others takes a lot of conscious practice
feeling understood through that expression though, that is what leads to the feeling of happiness.
its hard work and that is why its so important that those thoughts, opinions and beliefs originate from your soul
that way you are comfortable within your being and your soul is nourished through the vibrations of your thoughts.

for when you encounter any story, movie, news article, or other message, use the phrases below to protect yourself & others

Monday, October 20, 2014

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

our solar system is a vortex and its awesome

whoa...want to change the way you think?, watch this....

Monday, October 13, 2014

Tuesday, October 7, 2014



You don’t have to agree with, only learn to peacefully live with, other people’s freedom of choice. This includes (but is not limited to) political views, religious beliefs, dietary restrictions, matters of the heart, career paths, etc.
Our opinions and beliefs tend to change depending on time, place, and circumstance. And since we all experience life differently, there are multiple theories on what’s best, what’s moral, what’s right, and what’s wrong.
It is important to remember that other people’s perspective on reality is as valid as your own. This is why the first principle of Buddhist Boot Camp is that the opposite of what you know is also true.
No matter how certain we are of our version of the truth, we must humbly accept the possibility that someone who believes the exact opposite could also be right (according to their time, place, and circumstance). This is the key to forgiveness, patience, and understanding.
That said, tolerance does not mean accepting what is harmful. Oftentimes the lesson we are to learn is when to say “no,” the right time to walk away, and when to remove ourselves from the very cause of anguish. After all, we are the ones who create the environment we live in (so we're the ones who often cause our own suffering by making those choices, which means we're the only ones who can end it as well).
While staying with different host families around the world over the years, I noticed that people’s definitions of everyday words like “comfortable” and “clean” were often very different than my own. The opposite of what I considered true proved to be just as true for others, which was very humbling. If two people can have very different definitions of what “walking distance” means, imagine bigger words like “right,” “wrong,” “God,” and “love.” The opposite of what you know is also true —Buddhist Boot Camp

pop quiz

its not a good idea to use your real name on the internets because....

a. some people take the internet way too seriously.
b. you should be concerned about protecting your identity & the identity of your children
c. the NSA, FBI, police and trolls are on the internets & they all believe that anything you've said can & will be used against you (in a court of law)
d. all of the above

extra credit bonus question:

how do criminals typically not get caught when they commit crimes?

a. they think of many different ways to get away with crimes
b. they plan their crimes
c. they set someone else up to take the blame
d. all of the above.

after i wrote this i decided not to post it, but then i saw THIS article

An overlooked Justice Department court filing explains that a federal agent had the right to commandeer a woman's identity, set up a fake Facebook account using her details and even post provocative photographs of her found on a seized phone.

Buzzfeed reports that a Drug Enforcement Administration agent stole the identity of Sondra Arquiett, who then went by the name Sondra Prince, back in 2010. The site explains how she found out:

[A] friend asked about the pictures she was posting on her Facebook page. There she was, for anyone with an account to see — posing on the hood of a BMW, legs spread, or, in another, wearing only skimpy attire. She was surprised; she hadn't even set up a Facebook page. Indeed, the DEA agent was using the account to communicate with suspected criminals. Why Sondra? Well, admittedly, she had been arrested on suspicion of being part of a drug ring, and she was ultimately sentenced to probation. While she was awaiting trial, an agent called Timothy Sinnigen set up the fake account using photographs from her confiscated phone. It worked: he communicated with at least one wanted fugitive.

But success isn't, perhaps, the point—as Sondra well knows. The whole debacle came to light, in fact, because she has been trying to sue Sinnigen, claiming that her privacy has been violated.

Sadly for Sondra, the court ruled that, while the Facebook page has been constructed without her permission, it was "for a legitimate law enforcement purpose."

the oppressors will victimize you until you become a threat, then they will demonize you. doom doom doom.

Tuesday, September 30, 2014


exactly, because.....'merica land of the free except,

believe that.

You have nothing to prove to anyone else, because…

1. The people worth impressing just want you to be yourself. In the long run, it’s better to be loathed for who you are than loved for who you are not. In fact, the only relationships that work well in the long run are the ones that make you a better person without changing you into someone other than yourself, and without preventing you from outgrowing the person you used to be.

Ignore the comparisons and expectations knocking at your door. The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday. Prove yourself to yourself, not others. The RIGHT people for you will love you for doing so, and they will appreciate all the things about you that the WRONG people are intimidated by. Bottom line: Don’t change so people will like you; be patient, keep being your amazing self, and pretty soon the RIGHT people will love the REAL you.

2. No one else really knows what’s best for YOU. Don’t lose yourself in your search for acceptance by others. Walk your path confidently and don’t expect anyone else to understand your journey, especially if they have not been exactly where you are going. You have to take the steps that are right for you; no one else walks in your shoes.

Let others take you as you are, or not at all. Speak your truth even if your voice shakes. By being true to yourself, you put something breathtaking into the world that was not there before. You are stunning when your passion and strength shines through as you follow your own path – when you aren’t distracted by the opinions of others. You are powerful when you let your mistakes educate you, and your confidence builds from firsthand experiences – when you know you can fall down, pick yourself up, and move forward without asking for anyone else’s permission. (Read Awaken the Giant Within.)

3. YOU are the only person who can change YOUR life. In every situation you have ever been in, positive or negative, the one common thread is you. It is your responsibility, and yours alone, to recognize that regardless of what has happened up to this point in your life, you are capable of making choices to change your situation, or to change the way you think about it. Don’t let the opinions of others interfere with this prevailing reality.

What you’re capable of achieving is not a function of what other people think is possible for you. What you’re capable of achieving depends entirely on what you choose to do with your time and energy. So stop worrying about what everyone else thinks. Just keep living your truth. The only people that will fault you for doing so are those who want you to live a lie.

4. Society’s materialistic measurement of worth is worthless. When you find yourself trapped between what moves you and what society tells you is right for you, always travel the route that makes you feel alive – unless you want everyone to be happy, except you. No matter where life takes you, big cities or small towns, you will inevitably come across others who think they know what’s best for you – people who think they’re better than you – people who think happiness, success and beauty mean the same things to everyone.

They’ll try to measure your worth based on what you have, instead of who you are. But you know better than that – material things don’t matter. Don’t chase the money. Catch up to the ideas and activities that make you come alive. Go for the things of greater value – the things money can’t buy. What matters is having strength of character, an honest heart, and a sense of self-worth. If you’re lucky enough to have any of these things, never sell them. Never sell yourself short.

5. Life isn’t a race; you have nothing to prove. Everyone wants to get to the top of the mountain first and shout, “Look at me! Look at me!” But the truth is, all your happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing, not while you’re sitting at the top. Enjoy the journey by paying attention to each step. Don’t rush through your life and miss it. Forget where everyone else is in relation to you. This isn’t a race. You get there a little at a time, not all at once.

Let go of the foolish need to prove yourself to everyone else, and you’ll free yourself to accomplish what matters most to you. Sometimes you have to remind yourself that you don’t have to always be and do what everyone else is being and doing.

6. The path to all great things passes through failure. You are an ever-changing work in progress. You don’t have to always be right, you just have to not be too worried about being wrong. Screwing up is part of the process. Looking like a fool sometimes is the only way forward. If you try too hard to impress everyone else with your “perfection,” you will stunt your growth. You will spend all your time looking a certain way, instead of living a certain way.

It’s impossible to live without failing sometimes, unless you live so cautiously that you aren’t really living at all – you’re merely existing. If you’re too afraid of failing in front of others, you can’t possibly do what needs to be done to be successful in your own eyes. You have to remember that it doesn’t matter how many times you fail or how messy your journey is, so long as you do not stop taking small steps forward. In the end, those who don’t care that failure is inevitable are the ones that reach their dreams. YOU can be one of them. (Read The Last Lecture.)

7. It’s impossible to please everyone anyway. Some people will always tell you what you did wrong, and then hesitate to compliment you for what you did right. Don’t be one of them, and don’t put up with them.

When you run into someone who discredits you, disrespects you and treats you poorly for no apparent reason at all, don’t consume yourself with trying to change them or win their approval. And be sure not to leave any space in your heart to hate them. Simply walk away and let karma deal with the things they say and do, because any bit of time you spend on these people will be wasted, and any bit of hate and aggravation in your heart will only hurt you in the end.

You don’t need a standing ovation or a bestseller or a promotion or a million bucks. You are enough right now. You have nothing to prove. Care less about who you are to others and more about who you are to yourself. You will have less heartaches and disappointments the minute you stop seeking from others the validation only YOU can give yourself.

Credit: Marc and Angel Hack Life

Just do your best to keep yourself in balance. One of the first things that causes Energy misalignment, is asking or demanding too much of yourself in terms of time and effort. In other words, you just cannot burn the candle at both ends, so that you are physically tired, and then expect yourself to have a cheerful attitude. -Abraham-Hicks

everyday is opposite day

like a cosmic river....

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

The Oracle Report for WuTangWednesday, September 24, 2014

New Moon Phase: emergence of clarity

Moon in Libra

Skill: open your heart to receive wisdom; find humor

Negative Imprint: losing touch with reality, avoiding reality, perfectionism, superficial, misleading, anti-humanistic, foolishness

Positive Imprint: potential, initiation, practical, humor, purity, imagination, new paths, enlarged sphere of operation, courage, wonderment, luxury, attraction

Welcome to the New Moon in Libra and a month of the fullest light to see, realize, and understand.

At the new astrological year beginning with the New Moon in Aries on March 30, 2014, we began a new journey - a journey to hike a mountain, the mountain of life. It has taken six months to reach the peak of this mountain, but now we are here. From here we have the fullest view of the panorama. We also have the most light by which to view. Energetically, since embarking upon our journey the Moon has now grown to be Full and Full Moons provide the most light.

(If you divide the year into eight parts that parallel the eight Moon phases, this part is parallel to the Full Moon phase, so it is like a month-long Full Moon.)

In many ways, we will come to "see the light" over this cycle. Something dawns on us, mysteries are revealed, and problems are resolved. We see the truth of many things about our lives and it may be quite stark. Full light has a tendency to do this. Our job is to soften the edges and provide more luminosity than harshness of what we are seeing. If a realization comes on you strong and sharp, step back and slow down the speed. Gently take the information inside yourself to process at your own pace. Light can be directed as a laser or as a glow. The choice is ours how we want to take it.

Full light also makes people loony (which should be spelled luny). Lunacy has a tendency to show out in all kinds of ways. This will be most visible during the Full Moon phase beginning October 8, but in effect all month long. I should also note here that the next cycle, the Scorpio cycle is also like a month-long Full Moon. We have two cycles for fullest expression and illumination of energies.

The Libra cycle is a cardinal cycle because Libra is a cardinal sign. Major shifts of consciousness happen with cardinal cycles. These shifts provide opportunities and openings, and, this year, massive change. The new world order makes bigger moves during the cardinal cycles (Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn) because the innate disequilibrium that results from shifting from one thing to another creates an opportunity to control the shift. We are wise to this and are focused on the shift of mass consciousness toward a world based on freedom, wisdom, beauty, and love.

Since the Libra New Moon is in aspect to the Moon's Nodes, we have a reorientation of the past - past lives and the past in this life. - into the present and projected into the future. We've worked hard to let go of painful elements of the past, but now the happier ones return. These are things that have been lost or in shadow. Follow urges from your heart to learn, create, or revive something. This may be an interest that was dropped or fell away due to past circumstances. All kinds of things from the past return this month.

The Return of Wisdom is included in this, and exchanges of spiritual knowledge will spread like wildfire. The main avenue for this is through stories. Stories are very, very important this month. If there is a story inside of you, it will want to come out this month. If the urge to write comes over you, dismiss thoughts and expectations about what will become of it. That doesn't matter right now. The creative act - expression - is what is important. What happens with the rest of it, if anything, is suspended until another day.

The energy may enter with a feeling that you have been stripped away or stripped down. It's a good way to enter the Full phase. It means you come without pretense and are ready for a "moon bath." Currents of the moon bath wash over us to bring new responses to life, new levels of awareness, and profound inner change. It is an energetic rebirth.

The energy may increase insomnia, just as it is often harder to sleep during Full Moons. If it is keeping you up, engage your imagination. Use the time for a waking dream.

The position of Mercury today tends to prompt a gloomy outlook and despair. This is part of the process toward recognition of something that is trying to be revealed to us. This happens before we start to see that things are actually getting better. A deeper spiritual connection occurs simultaneously as we see how we've been helped along the way. The process that begins with despair this month ends with profound spiritual insight. Keep this in mind when interacting with others. Some may be on the sadder end of the spectrum. You may be on the sadder end of the spectrum. That's ok because you know what's going on and can trust that this deep, inner process will bring you to light.

The New Moon phase of the Libra cycle is a time of high magic and the perfect time for a moon bath, even though the Moon is invisible right now. All things come from the dark void, and what comes this month comes back from long ago. Let there be light!


I saw these two big ol' owls yesterday for some reason it seemed significant, so i googled about own symbolism......

The owl spirit animal is emblematic of a deep connection with wisdom and intuitive knowledge. If you have the owl as totem or power animal, you’re likely to have the ability to see what’s usually hidden to most. When the spirit of this animal guides you, you can see the true reality, beyond illusion and deceit. The owl also offers for those who have it a personal totem the inspiration and guidance necessary to deeply explore the unknown and the magic of life. Owl Symbolism

Symbolic meanings for the owl are:

-Intuition, ability to see what others do not see
-The presence of the owl announces change
-Capacity to see beyond deceit and masks

The traditional meaning of the owl spirit animal is the announcer of death, most likely symbolic like a life transition, change

The owl spirit animal and the power to see in the dark

The owl sees in the dark: As a spirit animal, the owl guides you to see beyond the veil of deception and illusion; it helps see what’s kept hidden. It also symbolizes the ability to cut through illusions and see the real meaning of someone’s action or state of mind.

When the owl is one of your power animals, you have a strong intuition and can access information and wisdom that’s usually hidden to most. The spirit of this animal encourages you to look beyond deceiving appearances into the true reality of a situation or a person’s motives.

The owl is a strong spirit guide for discernment and making decision based solid foundations. Call on the owl totem when you have to assess a situation or are going through confusing times.

The unknown and the owl power animal

If you have an owl as a totem or spirit animal, you probably like to explore the unknown. The mysteries of life are a fascinating field of interest. As the owl guides your steps, you are likely to develop an appreciation for life’s magic.

When the owl shows up in your life, listen and look out for the subtle signs that are around you. Your animal spirit guide is a great helper to be attentive to what usually goes below your radar, but is now of particular importance.

The owl is also a guide to uncover your hidden potential and abilities. Check whether you need to reveal more of your intuitive nature.

Night time is particularly auspicious for your creativity, so take the time to focus your creative energy then.

Owl spirit animals as messengers of change

Owl spirit animals are symbolic of death in many traditions. In most cases however, it should not be taken literally: If the owl is associated with death, it can be viewed a symbolic death, meaning a transition in life, important changes that are taking place or about to happen.

When the owl shows up in your life, pay attention to the winds of change. Perhaps you are about to leave some old habits, a situation that no longer serve you or bring something new in your life.

The progression of the lunar cycle through each sign every month brings about awareness, which we use and integrate going forward into next new lunar cycle. The last lunar cycle was primarily about healing the illusions of duality and the separateness it brings. The importance this last cycle was to our collective and individual spiritual healing process. In short, the current placement of Chiron and Neptune in Pisces has been revealing to us the deep collective distortional imprints of man-made laws and religions, and the hold they have on our collective awareness. ie. the illusion that spirit and flesh are separate. That god is outside of ourselves. That we are separate from the universe and nature. That painful feeling of separateness.

The void we all carry with us on some level is ultimately the feeling of being abandoned by god (love). So with this lunar cycle we are now being asked to connect to others and bring these lessons into the world. We are being asked to choose love over fear. We are unified through the action of love. The connection that love brings to our life conquers all. Love is the universal binding element.

At the bottom line of this global awakening is the realization that we are not disconnected but deeply interconnected, and there lies the key to really healing through this New Moon in Libra.

This is an exciting time for us because for the first time since 2008, Pluto is done with the involution (breaking down) process of its passage through Capricorn. We are now very much aware of the distortions in the world and this process needed to happen. We needed to become aware of all of the outdated definitions and outmoded ways of the past. We are now entering the direct phase of, “okay let’s begin fixing this”. But we are right at the beginning so there will still be an extreme amount of uncertainty regarding the what’s and how’s. This is natural and it paradoxically drives us into new directions, to explore and figure that out.

As Pluto’s cycle moves very slowly, taking around 22 years to pass through each sign, its evolutionary appearance cannot be seen straight away as it can with nearer planetary bodies. With the gradual emergence of this energy comes the building of the new paradigm. Can you feel it? The first part of this long evolutionary journey is over. The breaking down energy has run its course, it is time to move forward.

On a personal level, Pluto, representing inner authority, has helped us truly let go of some really distorted conditionings. A fresh new me is ready to be birthed out of this current alignment. Exciting is it?

And at the bottom of this whole process lies the truth; that we live in the universe and the universe lives in us. We and the universe are connected. And by owning this truth, we are progressively taking our power back, taking our sovereignty back. Although it may be a slow and progressive process - it is still happening - and our job is to make sure we keep at it. Building on it. Being the change.

New Moon in Libra--Polarization

From an evolutionary view point, the phase after Virgo reflects to us the process where we begin to meet the world as a social equal. Libra reflects to us the need to create balance and harmony relative to extremes. It is the process of seeing things as equal through extremes, binding the illusion of separateness. In Libra we are learning how to give, not just to take. To listen to other people in a way that is true to their experience of reality instead of just filtered through our own expectations.

An intention with Libra is to learn about relativity. Where we seek to evaluate ourselves through comparing and contrasting ourselves with others. We are also, in contrast to Libra’s polarity Aries, learning to become aware of the needs and realities of other people. This reflects the Libra lesson of learning to give to other people, as in the previous growth cycle of our subjective awareness we have been taking from others.

One of the main themes that will be arising from this new moon is the increased awareness of the polarization between unity consciousness (love) and fear-based separation conscious. As Mars moves through Sagittarius this will become very apparent. The Libra theme holds immense insight into the nature of how we can actually move forward here. The north node of the Moon (our karmic potential) acts like a compass guiding us forward.

The first thing to note here is that the ruler of the Node (Venus) is in Virgo, which is making an opposition to Chiron in Pisces. This means that we are being asked to discern from the illusions of separateness in the outside world, and to recognize what is fear-based consciousness and conditioning; to inwardly heal from such illusions by connecting the heart with the spirit; and to now start integrating these dimensions of our spiritual selves into alignment with our hearts.

Also, Pluto will be making squares to the Sun and Moon and Uranus. This alignment is reflecting to us the need to individuate ourselves, to question the underlying beliefs that have underpinned all prior actions, to detach from what one has created and the social sphere in which one participates. We will seek equality and demand justice. This is a wonderful opportunity to start showing up, speaking up, and expressing your originality.

As we are asked to share and express our new found beliefs, do not be disheartened by the voices expressing fear. Instead, use the awareness as a mirror to show you how much closer to love you have come. Feel and express that love and you will soon find that you are connected to a unified field of healing love energy.

We do not need to fight the negative, only to share our awareness through love. Connect to yourself and express your divinity! Let’s start building a world for ourselves and our children! Let’s purify ourselves of today’s distortions so that our children do not need to! Let’s connect to each other, all over the globe, to spread the word, spread the love and heal the pain.

Liberation and breaking free from the conditions of the unnatural laws and distortions of man-made authority are now being emphasized. The full phase inconjunct reflects limitations and feelings of entrapment. The Saturn function in Scorpio, inconjunct the nodal axis, reflected to us the deep truth that the distorted authority/powers are not letting go of their illusions of power.

This aspects will no doubt bring about frustration, anger, and powerlessness. This in turn will lead many people to eventually break down their false sense of faith in external authority, and induce the core-evolutionary intention of Pluto through Capricorn. That change and power comes from within. We need to be looking inwardly and forming a new relationship to ourselves; building new communities and developing a deep unifying connection to our fellow man.

This aspect supports and induces the action of the people taking back their power. This change can bring up strong feelings of insecurity as we take our first steps in a new direction. It is completely natural to experience this as we have nothing to attach ourselves to. We are stepping into the unknown, so to speak. It is new and fresh, and anxiety can be a part of this process. The paradox here is that, again, that lack of knowledge is the very thing driving us to discover what is out there.

On a more personal level, we are starting a new cycle, and self-discovery is the theme. Being reborn.

Step into the light! Feel your way! Be inspired!

Be the change!


Becoming a Source of Light

You are the healers, teachers, and leaders of this new age. You are here to bring through new information, ideas, healing tools, and love to whatever areas you choose to work in. You will be working in many fields, for the new consciousness needs to be built in every area of society. As you grow spiritually and awaken your inner light, you will become a source of light and awakening for others.

You, as your Higher Self, existed in higher dimensions of light before you chose to be born. To live on this planet, your Higher Self first created a spiritual body, and this became the model that set up your chakras, meridians, and energy systems. Then your Higher Self drew to your spiritual body your mental, emotional, and physical energy bodies.

Imagine that one day you put on many layers of shirts, trousers, and socks, then added to those several heavy sweaters and overcoats. How would you feel? This is what it feels like for your Higher Self to come into a physical body. You wonder why you feel so heavy at times! When your spirit leaves your body, you shed this shell and return to the formless essence of your Higher Self.

Since you were a child you may have felt you had a special purpose or mission.

Each of you was born with a special purpose, a unique role to play that no one else could fill. You have chosen to be at the forefront of the change that is coming, to contribute to building the new forms that will support a superconscious reality.

It is important to believe in your dreams; they are showing you your special purpose. If you haven't yet found your higher purpose, trust that everything you are doing is leading you to this higher path. You will have a greater awareness of what your special purpose is as you continue to grow.

You are ahead of your time.

You are the holders of the vision of what is possible for humanity to accomplish. You may have wondered why you think differently from others, or why you sometimes feel like you don't fit in as well as others. Some of the thoughts and ideas you have that are now uncommon and unusual will be the thoughts that bring about the changes to higher consciousness in years to come. You may be drawn to areas such as ecology, the peace movement, science, technology, psychology, metaphysics, or others that contribute to a new vision for humanity.

Imagine you are walking up a mountain. There are many people in front of you and many people in back of you. Now imagine that the beings ahead of you turn around and send you lines of light, love, and energy, lighting up your path and making your journey easier. You see with increasing clarity where you are going. Your footsteps become more sure. You are able to climb even faster. Now imagine turning around and sending out your light and wisdom to those behind you, broadcasting encouragement and knowledge of the path you have just tread.

One step behind you are hundreds of thousands who are awakening. Remember yourself as you were before you awoke to this path of growth. There are many, many thousands in the world who are at the point of awakening. They may not know yet where to turn or even what information to seek. They are just beginning to question, to listen, and to hear. As you lift the veils and wake up to your path and truth, you will be reaching out to assist them, and they in turn will be reaching out to others.

Humanity is in the process of making an evolutionary leap.

Your energy bodies are evolving; you are gaining a spiritual shimmer and new energies in your aura as you grow spiritually. Because the new human will have a body of light that is able to vibrate at a higher frequency and radiate light, you, your children, and your grandchildren will bring with them a transformation of consciousness beyond anything you can now imagine.

What you struggle so intently with now-to be more loving, to believe in yourself, to forgive, to have compassion, and to release pain and negativity-will be easier in future times as human energy systems become more evolved. Humanity will have a more fully formed body of light and will become a radiating source of light.

You are not on earth because you are too "low" to live in the higher dimensions. Your Higher Self has sent a part of itself-you-into this dimension to learn more about Its consciousness as expressed in a world of form and matter. Trust that you are here right now because it is the best place for you and offers you the most opportunity to evolve. As you grow and expand, your Higher Self grows and expands. Love your humanity as well as your divinity. What you experience in your daily life-the challenges, feelings, and relationships-are the very things you came to learn from.

The feelings and thoughts you have-all your humanness-offer you a rich and wonderful opportunity to grow and become a source of light to others. As you become more filled with light you assist humanity in reaching "critical mass." When enough people can hold and radiate a larger amount of light, everyone together will take a quantum leap and reach a new evolutionary phase. As more people expand, everyone will find it easier to be their Higher Selves and reach enlightenment. As more people learn to hold and radiate more light, it will be possible for many others to reach their full potential in this lifetime.

Orin & Daben, Sanaya Roman and Duane Packer excerpt from Spiritual Growth

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Mad Decent Block Party in AZ

i learned pants are now optional at music festivals. there were so many people just walking around with no pants was wild

Monday, September 8, 2014

my saturday

coffee and a coconut by the pool

i was listening to this while i swam

& then i had some fun dancing around in these plantlife socks
i was really dancing to this song

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

If people are wise they cannot be exploited

“No society wants you to become wise, it is against the investment of all societies. If people are wise they cannot be exploited. If they are intelligent they cannot be subjugated, they cannot be forced in a mechanical life, to live like robots…They will have the fragrance of rebellion around them…” -Osho

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

aloha state

o hai, i finally got to be all kawaii in Hawaii

(press play)

(lulz) and by kawaii i mean chubby....

meh, i forgive myself for the extra chub (shrug) only because i spent so many years of my life training all hard and never relaxing.
my weight has always gone up and down, i once weighed in for a fight at 98lbs and another time i weighed in at 135. so i struggled with my body until i got divorced. that was a stressful and depressing time so i got skinny but just from being really unhealthy. it was a total lifestyle change. when my emotions died down and i got my appetite back i finally gave myself permission to relax and so i'm a lil chubby, for now what-ever. i'm happy as ever and i think that eventually i'll get sick the chub making me uncomfortable and want to start building muscle again.
but i do actually like how my boobs are bigger when i'm chubby. i definately feel more womanly but that is not really normal for me, i still think of myself as a tomboy...anyway i need to reinvent a healthy new 'normal' lifestyle for myself, blah blah blah

i have to say my favorite thing about Hawaii (besides the food) is that there are flowers EVERYWHERE. i loved that. i recently read somewhere that the molecular structure of flowers is naturally more complex than other parts of plants, so plants with flowers actually vibrate at a higher frequency than say plants with just leaves. so that thought hella added to the aloha vibes i was feelin.

the beach wasn't bad either. ;D

we started off with some nice cool drinks

then the food, the food, oooh all the glorious food!

pioneer saloon plate lunch

shabu shabu


garlic tuna steak, shrimp & fries

kalbi & eggs

guava chiffon pancakes

more garlic shrimps!

some ramen

avacado BLT w/ roasted garlic & bacon salad at fresh cafe before our hike at manoa falls

fried pork chops at Sidecar Inn

i took like 250 pics, half of them are dorkfaced selfies, but whatevz, you can look at on them on facebook click here

MAHALO Hawaii! i'll love you forever!